How I Missed the Anniversary…of Thoreau’s Death…Again

May 6th. You’d think it would be embossed in my mind – all these years of reading and teaching Thoreau, and yet, it slipped by again.

On the evening of this slippage, while I supervised an impatient study hall, I wondered to myself: why is that?

Here’s what I answered: it sounds simple, hokey, even, but for me, Henry Thoreau lives on. It would be a cliche to point to Walden and other works and say, “see, all around the world people read these words and then look up and change; all around the world people read and develop or renew their faith in I.” True…but trite to write.

And I’ve been reading through his spring journal of 1855, even as I live my spring of 2014. We have shared hawks and peepers and redwing blackbirds, woodland meanderings. All good, but…

Here then is a more personal truth: years of living with Henry Thoreau’s writing have given me new eyes. Every day when I walk out the door, I look up, I scan the peripheries of each world I step into – yesterday the robin nesting in the dwarf pine was facing east as she sat atop her two blue eggs; today, she’s facing south. The copper beech in the yard is kicking finally last year’s dun leaves from a hold that endured quite a winter. The parking lot maple prepares a riot of seeds…so much faith.

It all begins…again.

Little Feats

Note: no quotations from Henry Thoreau in this post, but I like to think a similar spirit suffused his mountains.

The other day, while small-stepping along the trails that lead to and from Walden, I got to thinking about footwork. A lifetime of trails has kept me reasonably adept at the juggling cadence needed for New England trails and their studding of rocks and roots, often disguised by leaf litter. But it was a sharp downhill that triggered this running meditation.

Not long ago, I’d heard from a younger friend who runs mountain trails. I’d asked for a report about a loop I like, and I had gotten back a detailed account of a daylight-long ramble. At its close he wrote, “the last five miles go by pretty quickly with a bomber descent off Flume and a flat mile out to the road.” ‘Bomber descent,’ I thought as I short-stepped down the sharp, forty-foot drop off an esker; ‘no way no way no way no no way…’ – this one-syllable no-mantra set up with my stepping.

All of New England’s mountains genuflect to their northern shaper, the glaciers, gone to water for now, but likely to cycle back at some point. The upended, frost-split rock is their residue, and everyone who visits our uplands must contend with its odd angles.

As boy turned loose for the first time from parental supervision, I began to stride and run through the White Mountains. I was seventeen; I was in a hurry. Beyond each summit was another, and that was where I wanted to be.

Rock-strewn Way

Rock-strewn Way

Memory’s scrapbook holds images from a summer day moving north along the ridge that joins Mt. Washington to Mt. Jefferson; I am with a 17-year-old friend who is new to these hills and their jumbled trails; I am his trail-tutor. “Look,” I say, eyeing the half-mile descent of Mt. Clay’s flank, “it’s more fun to run this.” I don’t think so,” he replies, and he starts down in a stolid fashion. “At least take my pack,” I say, and he returns, shoulders it (only a day pack) and turns downhill again. I watch him grow steadily smaller.

The amperage loose in my system has me edgy, which is another way to say sharp. I see my first five steps and figure the rest will appear. They do. I land on various edges, listen to the hollow clunk of my boots and odd knocking stones, and when I can’t find my next step immediately, I do what my mountain-running counselor taught me at fourteen – I “go up.”

“Going up,” jumping higher when you see no landing, may sound counterintuitive, but it works. In those few airborne seconds, you find your next step, even if it is a thin edge of stone; and then you quick-step on. This is rock-dancing, and in that era of life that was my way.

Up There - Franconia Ridge

Up There – Franconia Ridge

That memory leads to appreciation for the ways our walking changes over time. And so, even as I walk and shuffle the same trails as my younger friend and my younger self, I leave the bombing to them and dance now in short steps. They are my little feats.

Post note: surely, when you consider the ground Henry Thoreau covered on his walks and in the hills, he too must have “danced” or “bombed” some of his descents.

Hawk and Crow

Hawks were much on Henry’s mind during the April days of 1855. Often, he had taken to the water, and, as he rowed and floated, he saw fish hawks; being Henry, he wanted to know what these hawks were eating, and a number of entries have a catalogue of pout parts found beneath a hawk’s perch – another recorded arc in our round world’s cycles. And whenever he walked he scanned for them too: “Going up the hill, I examined the treetops for hawks.”

Throughout these days and lines wherever hawks appear so too does the loud, dark shadow of the crow. For days now I’ve had this avian pairing in mind as another chapter of its story plays out atop a tall hemlock next to the Sudbury River.

Air Dance - Hawk and Crow

Air Dance – Hawk and Crow

Hawk Notes from Three Spring Days

Most mornings this spring, the tall hemlock by the Sudbury River has been topped by his figure. Still from this distance, sentinel-like, this young redtail hawk takes in the floodplain, and were I a four-footed scurrier, I’d hope to be aware he’s there.

Morning after a strong front blew through: no time to be totem for the redtail today. He comes to his morning perch and lights, folds his wings; immediately he has to flare them for balance, then the red rudder of his tail fans out and tips him forward. He looks like a child on a teeter-totter, or an athlete rehabbing his bum ankle. For a full minute he wobbles; the whole world of his vision must rock. Then he opens his wings, flies off downwind, sinking to and skimming the field before pulling up into the gray branches of just-flowering, shorter maple.

And this morning under low clouds, I’m watching as the hawk pulls up flaring wings to his perch; above and fully engaged is a single crow, and the crow begins a series of inverted parabolas, diving on the hawk, whose feathers are truly ruffled – he still looks as if he slept in them. Then, for a minute or so, the crow lights in a nearby tree crown, and, through binoculars I can see him “talking” at the hawk, who turns to face him. “Yo, young fella,” he seems to say. “I’m comin’ right back; I’ll be on you all day like red on your tail.” The crow then lifts off and resumes his diving harassment, and, at each near approach, the hawk ducks his head a little and opens his beak…and I wonder if there’s a price for flying too close, or if this is another part of the world’s tutorial for this young hawk, who also seems to be in his first molt.

On this third morning the washed air after a rain makes the redtail shine, even as his primary color is dun. He is perched to the right and below his usual uppermost point, and perhaps that’s because his black nemesis is here too. Can this be the same crow? Did he sleep nearby, open his yellow eye and say, “Where’s my hawk?” stretch his wings and resume his inverted parabolas of outrage? Really? As I watch through glasses, the hawk tracks the swooping dives of the crow, opening his beak and flaring a wing and cringing (it must be said) at each approach; the crow drops into my magnified field of vision, accelerating to and by the hawk’s head, then rises away and out of sight. I time his appearances – every 7 or 8 seconds, he’s back; when a longer interval arrives, I put down the glasses and find him atop a nearby maple. Even without magnification, it’s clear he’s still talking at the hawk, even as he must be doing whatever the bird equivalent of panting is.

Then, after all this, the crow suddenly arrows away south; the hawk watches him go, wondering, I’m sure, when he’ll be back. I wonder too. For now, the hawk is again alone on top, totemic, imperturbable.

Spring is bird season in Henry’s journals – and here today. Their morning chorus chases off the cold winter silence, and everywhere they are constructing the coming season from beakfuls of grasses and twigs. Overseeing it all is a Sudbury River hawk.